Final Fantasy 14 customer support

Dear Final Fantasy 14 customer support, please politely vanish because your existence kills portions of my soul each time I have to deal with you. Today in events I sat waiting for 2 hours when the estimated wait time was 1 hour, so I sat patiently I like to consider myself as a patient person.

Finally after 2 hours of waiting for customer support I got an agent named Andrew. Now before we get into how dumb this guy is. My issue is I have the code that I used to purchase the game, I have the name on the account buy FFXIV Gil, and backup email for it, and I can answer a security question.
Now seeing as how I have all of this wonderful material to prove my ownership of the account... it isn't enough (SHOCKER I know). Now I haven't logged into this account or this game much rather in forever. So I need to reset the password on the account as security measure which is fine, but I seem to have lost the email for the account.

So this is where the 2 hour wait for customer support begins I go through this wait and finally we are connected with Andrew. Now in no circumstance ever do I put my real birth date with my name for personal security reasons. So they need me to provide the date of birth that I put for this account FFXIV Gils and it's been a while since I logged in on that account so obviously I forgot it.

Now for some reason my date of birth is like the largest verification method in the world... because he wouldn't provide me with any other information unless I gave him my date of birth that I provided for that account which was false. So I didn't know it. Here is where the bad part comes.